Thursday, April 26, 2012

Play It Again, Sam

I've been feeling overwhelmed the past 2 weeks.  Hmmm, interesting how that time line is consistent w/ when I started getting back on the computer.  Coincidence?  I feel like there is so much to do every day...so much to BE!  There are so many precious moments I want to capture every day and I feel a little bit panicky every day b/c once you have a 10 year old....everything comes into perspective and you want to hold on to EVERY SINGLE MOMENT.
I have been spending too much time worrying about meaningless things.  The things that I though I'd conquered during Lent are trying to creep back in.  Expectations from the world are beginning to seep back into my way of judging things and I want it gone!  When I begin to measure everything against how the world sees it....my life and who I am starts to look like a failure!  And when I start feeling that way....I start ACTING that way!  It is such a waste!  I don't want to waste anymore time or thoughts or energy or opportunities!
I am to be GOD valued.  I am to be GOD lead.  I am to be GOD focused.  I am to seek HIS desire for my life.  I am to seek HIS desire for my children's lives.  I am to rest in HIS presence.  I am to rely on HIS strength.  I am to surrender my fears to HIM.  I am to surrender my life to HIM.
Lord, thank you for understanding my every weakness.  Thank you for knowing my every strength.  Thank you for your constant forgiveness and understanding and grace.  Thank you for new mercies.  Thank you for perspective and all the many undeserved blessings.  Please help me keep my eyes on YOU and only YOU.  When I am tempted to measure my worth by anything other than things that are of  worth to YOU please gently refocus my vision. 
Father, when I allow my inadequacies and failures to begin to suffocate please help me hear your voice tenderly whispering that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that your grace is sufficient.  I know that I can not be all things for my children so instead of feeling paralyzed, help me continue to move and be a walking example of YOUR love.  Fill me with joy that overflows and fills our home.  Make me a never ending well of patience that handles every situation with gentleness.  I pray that I would always be kind and that my children would see it and be kind as well.  I want do good but not for the sake of being good.  I pray that my children will know WHY I so desire to do good and choose good things for us be it media, people or food. 
Lord help me to always be faithful....even when things get hard.  I pray that the kids will be inspired by my faithfulness and that their faith will be never wavering.  One of my biggest challenges is being self controlled.  I know that I can overcome this struggle.  I know that if I will only turn to you it will become less and less of a weakness.  Thank you for being the ultimate example of how a good parent deals w/ his children.  Make me more like you, Lord.  And let me give you all the glory.  Amen.

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