I am feeling weak lately. I think it's pregnancy hormones, feeling overwhelmed w/ all I would like to do b/f this new little one arrives, the ARRIVAL of this new little one, adjusting to life after this little one arrives, etc. My children sense my weakness. I just know it. I am having a lot of trouble being patient and gentle and joyful and peaceful.
I read a blog entry by this lady and she was talking about how much she loves being a stay at home home school mom but that her kids probably don't realize it. She is stressed and frustrated much of the time. She is short and hurried. When I read this I identified SO much! There is nothing I would rather do than stay at home and home school my babies! I love being with them and training them and watching them grow and learn. I love making memories with them and teaching them about the things that I am passionate about and really value. But with the way I've been acting lately...they wouldn't know it. I have got to get back to the place where I can feel and show joy, peace, patience and gentleness. I need our home to be saturated with these things! I have got to just let go of all these fears and worries that come with the end of my pregnancies. I have to have faith and let my children see THAT instead of the rushed impatience that I've been exhibiting.
I have a great print off called Praying For Our Children. It's a month worth of daily prayers to pray over your children. I have gotten out of the habit of using this wonderful tool but I am getting back into it. Not only praying these things for them....but also for me!!!! I love that there is a verse with each prayer. I believe that praying scripture is powerful and I want to memorize these verses so that when I pray these prayers I can incorporate the actual passage.
It's a constant battle to stay on the path I want to be on. I do well for awhile and then am led astray by my flesh. God is patient and usually very quiet, giving me time to see myself by the consequences of my actions. Then He gently whispers. And hopefully this is where I hear Him and return. I am SO thankful for a patient, gentle and gracious Father. I want to be a more like Him in the way I parent my little ones....
This is the prayer calendar I use: