Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Cup is Full


  It never ceases to amaze me how much stock I put in other people's praise of me.  My selfish vanity....pride....I loath it.  I get so filled up when I walk into a room and Charley Kate just becomes so incredibly elated to see me that she practically falls over!!!  I get so filled up when my kids come up to me and hug me and tell me they love me unprompted.  I get so filled up when Billy tells me that he wakes up every morning thanking God for blessing him with me.  I get so filled up when a friend texts how much our friendship means to her, or a stranger tells me that I have beautiful hair, or a relative tells me what a good job I'm doing as a mother.  It's sad really.  Not because those things make me feel good, but because so often that is what fills me up.  So, what happens if no one says anything to me?  What if someone says something downright hurtful. What happens to me?  I feel empty.  Why do I continue to place my self worth, my self confidence, my fulfillment in what others think of me?  It's an exhausting roller coaster of self value.  "I'm valuable!!!"  "Oh, wait.  No, I must not be."  Sad.  Ridiculous!  Why can't I be filled up with the fact that my Father delights in me always, no matter what!!!!???  No contingencies, no strings, UNCONDITIONAL.  My worth doesn't change-----b/c it doesn't change to Him.  Him who says "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" because HE MADE ME.  Time, babies, hormones, mistakes....none of that changes me to Him.  So why do I put so much stock in affirmation that comes on 2 legs?  My prayer is to be completely aware of His presents.  To let Him be the one that fills me up.  To feel how much He loves me all the time.  This kind of love, this kind of self value/self love isn't the kind that is a source of pride.  It's the kind that makes you able to truly love others!  How can you truly love others if you don't love yourself?  I don't think you can.  There's too much comparing of value.  Too much potential for jealousy.  Too much judging (yourself or them).  NONE of that is love.  We need to feel our value to God and know that is all that matters.  These thoughts flooded my mind one day when this song came on.  In the chorus he just sings, "He loves us, oh how He loves us" over and over.  I started to cry b/c He does...and truly how can anything else matter!?  I was ashamed that I had been placing so much value on others....when HE is the one that blessed me with them in the first place! 

The lyrics are great but it's so much more powerful if you download the song, close your eyes, listen and believe it.

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

That He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

"Stacey Martha, Stacey Martha, your are worried and upset about many things.  Only on thing is important."
It's true.  One thing.  Not how I feel about myself b/c of what others think about me.  But being able to love me so that I can FULLY and COMPLETELY love others because of HIM.  Feel His love.  So we can BE His love.

6 comments:

YaYa and Pops said...

Oh yes, yes. You are wise beyond you years my child. Oh that I can contiue to learn from you. Thank you. He fills me through you.

Life with the Akin Clan said...

Thank you for sharing that. It's beautiful and such a great reminder.

I have missed your blogs. They fill me with joy!

Amy Mac said...

Thank you so much for sharing that today. I needed it so much, too.

all4memories said...

Thank you for that beautiful reminder!

Jessi -in love with her boys:) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jessi -in love with her boys:) said...

Right on sister. Now, let's do it.:D

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails