Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Re-Introduction and A Fresh Start

Allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is Stacey. I am a stay at home, homeschooling mother of 4 (one of whom has Type 1 Diabetes). I have been married to the love of my life for 10 years and he has made all my dreams come true....it's a short list ;) 1. Get married 2. be a mommy. I love being able to stay at home and teach all my precious kiddos! However, I have really been going through a tough time the past several months. Just feeling so overwhelmingly inadequate. Wondering why God would bless me w/ 4 amazing kids when I just couldn't do the job well. I began looking at all the ways I was inadequate and all the reasons I didn't deserve them. Then I started thinking about all the sacrifices I've made for them....and there. are. so. many!!!!! All those sacrifces every day for 8 YEARS and for what?!?! To make myself crazy? I felt like they had gone unappreciated and unnoticed and instead of accomplishing what I had hoped...were simply leading to my physical and mental demise!!!! I was in a bad place. Thankfully, our merciful Father has blessed me w/ an amazing family (including my dear husband) that has been very helpful and gracious. I feel like my hormones are getting back "in whack" and I'm more able to think clearly. I realize now that where I was was really just the pit of selfishness. Woa-ez-me. The amazing thing about focusing on yourself is that it will only bring you saddness!!! EVERY TIME!!! I read somewhere that the best way to have a good self image is to stop thinking about yourself!! My Mom used to tell me that all the time growing up. When I would start getting down on myself for something she would encourage me to do something for someone else. Such wisdom!
This break from school has been very good for me. School has been the hardest thing for me lately. Diabetes is so hard. I can't begin to explain the way it effects our life. It was really wearing me down. This break has refreshed me and I'm hopeful again.
I'm ready for a fresh start. A new outlook....that looks past my own inadequacies and focus's on the promises from our Father. I have some new tools that will hopefully help me manage the house, kids, meals and school more effectively so that I will still have a little time for myself and my hubby.
I'm glad to be back and hope that I have learned something through these struggles that will encourage some other mom out there that feel like she's barely staying afloat.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory"

He has equipped us with all we need and will sustain us! We can do it....and we can even do it well! :) He is always faithful...even when we feel so very undeserving (that's the point!).
Thank you for being so gracious about my abrupt and unannounced break from blogging. I'm glad to be back.
So Happy New Year! May this year bring you closer to our Father and be full of blessings...the giving and receiving of them! :)

9 comments:

Jen said...

Nice to meet you Stacey, my name is Jennifer and I am also a victim of selfishness via sleep deprivation and hormonal disruption! LOL, I totally know where you are coming from and I only had one this year! I love your honesty and pray that God would make me half the mommy that you are and I believe he'd be pleased with me. Mommas like you are an inspiration to me! May you be blessed in this new year -- keep those blog posts coming when you can. I love reading them.

Rebekah said...

We've missed you, dear, and we're so glad you're back!

The Cornett's said...

Stacey, thank you so much for sharing, and I am so glad your doing well. Hope you and your family had a blessed Holiday Season!

Grams said...

Glad to have you back on line Stace. I've always looked forward to reading your posts. You are an inspiration to us all and always give us something to think about. I pray that you Billy and the kids (and YaYa and Pops too) will be blessed this new year. I love you all.

Vail

Marie said...

So glad you are back! I am glad you also had an impromptu break from blogging and are back, refreshed and feeling better. So many times we do get overwhelmed, and Satan uses those moments to wreak havoc on us. I am so glad that you had your family for support in this re-structuring. I am excited to see as well all the amazing things that God has planned for you and your family. I so enjoy reading your blog and seeing all the wonderful things that you do- I get SO many good ideas from you. Glad you are back!!

The Clevelands said...

I love your blog and the wisdom you share. It hits very close to home! See ya soon at ELO (or maybe Upwards!).

laura said...

Stacey... soooo good to see you back! Praying that God continues to remind you daily of the holy work you do in your family, by his strength and his grace. Have missed your encouragement to me as a mom just by all that you do for your kids, and all that you envision for your family... know that you're an encouragement to me from across the miles!

Jill said...

I missed reading about your life soooo much. Thank you for coming back & having the courage to share your struggles. Miss & love you! Jill

all4memories said...

I have to be honest and admit that I, too am a selfish person, even in reading your blog. I had taken a break from blogging, getting online, etc. because I felt like I was drowning in everything that was going on. The strange thing, though, was I kept thinking about your blog, saying to myself (especially through the holidays) that I was missing out on all of your wonderful ideas because you were very regular about posting things. I ablsolutely LOVE to read your blog with all of your wonderful ideas and how God is working in your life. I was actually glad when I started to read your blog again today to find out that I didn't really have that much to catch up on. Oh, please don't take that the wrong way. I really mean that in an uplifting way. I was glad (selfishly) that I hadn't missed out on some awesome idea, but also glad to see that you were able to take a little break. I hope I'm making sense, and you can see through my stammering. :)

Anyway, I am so glad that you are still allowing God to use you through this blog, and I pray that you will constantly find that peace that you need even when life gets so hectic!!

Blessings to you and your precious family!!!!!!

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